November 27th, 2007 by admin
Memories continually flicker like lingering flashes from a camera, and are as present as the still whispers of a stranger’s eye.
They envelop my broken heart, and mend scars that break, and bleed warm reminders of previous intent.
The dust settles silently in a place of relief and gratitude.
The colors I have seen through the lens of your soul are astounding, and the manifestation of your perspective continuously lures and enlightens me with a great depth of field.
You have great capacity to turn walls to waterfalls that flow rapidly through an atmospheric constant of desire and imperfect beauty, and your sincere attempts will continue to shake the reality that evades me.
11.6.2007
November 22nd, 2007 by admin
Through the curtain of her hair I was offered a glimpse of her shinning youth- a time when her beauty was bolder. Now, her aging body holds her hostage, but her heart still beats faintly for a past that only thrives in the dim caverns of her mind.
She is gray, but her subtle grace- the silver lining that coats awkward movements manifested by a pain that resonates deep within the marrow of her existence, and reflects a liveliness that dances beneath the sunlight of her memory.
She is a mother who has cocooned her youth, and her spirit inside a withering body. She will leave it soon, and us. She will break free from the restraints of mortality, and she will become the dust that encompasses the spectrum stars that give us hope. She will shine brighter, and more intensely then this mortal life would have ever allowed.
She will become more than her most commendable achievements, but her influences on this fragile lifetime will not be forgotten, as her influence will forever touch our hearts with its gentle hand, and we will smile at the warmth we feel during our darkest moments, for at those moments when we are most alone, and the air is so still and quite, that is when we will hear the whispers of her wisdom, and feel the warmth of her light penetrating our skin from the heavens above.
November 19th, 2007 by admin
Today my heart sunk deep into my chest when a friend asked me for a simple favor.
“Do receive faxes there?”
"Well, yes of course" I replied.
“Ok, I am going have my itinerary sent to you, can you bring it home? I am checking in for my flight now, you will receive my boarding passes.”
“Sure, not a problem.” I replied - a simple favor, right?
Well, it would be a simple favor for most, and even for me, it’s not complicated, and it’s quite important, so there shouldn’t be a problem. For me, however, it is a problem and, at that moment I was stung by a thought, a subtle memory that had slipped from my mind, another forgotten day. It was this quiet moment at which I answered with a very assuring, “that’s no problem!” that I realized that it was in fact a problem. If my memory has served me well, and in this case I wish it hadn’t, I remembered the look of disbelief, and defeat when I showed up empty handed, and apathetic.
“Can’t” unfortunately has not been in my vocabulary for some time, and for that fact I have presented myself in a way that tends to be very defeating, and untrue. It was at this moment that I realized the importance, and I really was sorry. For the first time, the weight of the situation pressed against my consciousness in an unsettling attempt at salvation. I was wrong, and I let you down. I didn’t feel the weight then, but I never knew a piece of paper could weight so much.
November 7th, 2007 by admin
I often find myself searching for guidance by the act of randomly choosing a page from a cherished book. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but for me it is comforting. And, it just so happens that the pages I tend to choose are quite relevant, and quite significant. See, the way I figure, for whatever reason, out of all the pages I could choose, this is the one I chose, this is the page the book wants me to read, this is no coincidence, not to me.
Recently, while experiencing a particularly dark, and very weak moment in which all sanity evaded me, I turned to Letters to a Young Poet for some guidance. My state of being, and current sense of reality was thrashing around a very intense, and very important relationship. My personal existence, and ability to define things that were of up most importance to me were at stake. I was lost, and my self-control, and awareness both forfeited by my own apathy for true meaning. In other words, I was in deep shit. I needed help, and what better way to find your way then randomly choosing a page from a book to tell you what to do? It sounds logical to me.
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August 10th, 2007 by admin
Note To Self:
Surround yourself with intelligent and kind people who hold you accountable for the things you say and do. Don’t waste time with people who are not critical of themselves, or they will not be critical of you, and they will only enable you to continue harmful patterns.
If you are defending a point with absolutely no logic, STOP! For god’s sake, you don’t have to be right, you don’t have to pretend you know what you’re talking about, just humble yourself and be understanding.
Be as clear as possible, give details (they are what make up all beauty in life) and always consider the relevance of your words.
Think about everything you do. Ask yourself, “Does what I am doing right now make sense?” (In this moment…yes it does) Ask questions, and gather information. Your perspective right now is very limited, and the decisions you make are a direct result of that perspective, please be aware and cautious of yourself—your thoughts and the people you choose to be around. Open yourself to new ideas, you have admitted to yourself that you are empty…so FILL yourself!